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Day of the Larrys (transcript)
Time Squad Season 2, Episode 8a: "Day of the Larrys" Written by Michael Karnow, Dave Wasson, and Carlos Ramos Directed by Dave Wasson Air Date: March 21, 2003 INT. TIME SQUAD SATELLITE We see the wrecked interior of the satellite. Bullet holes and blast marks are scattered on the walls. Piles of wreckage are strewn about on the floor and the sofa is on fire. A raccoon scrounges around in a trash can. Behind him in white writing on the wall is "TUDD'S #1", which is crossed out and written over with "NO OTTO". LARRY, wearing a red bandana on his head and holding cleaning supplies, stands in the doorway. LARRY This is my life. I, who once served diplomats and princii reduced to a... janitor. LARRY gasps when he sees one of his self-portraits in the style of Thomas Gainsborough's The Blue Boy vandalized. In red paint is the words "WEENIE BOY". LARRY That's the last straw! He throws down the mop. LARRY Tuddrussel! TUDDRUSSEL! LARRY storms off into the hall. INT. KITCHEN LARRY stomps in, hands on his hips. He stops when he notices that he's walked into the center of a red bullseye painted on the floor. LARRY Huh? What the- He looks up and screams in fright as a washing machine crashes down on top of him. TUDDRUSSEL jumps next to him, triumphant. TUDDRUSSEL Bullseye! Heh heh! TUDDRUSSEL picks up the washing machine and sees LARRY flattened by its weight. TUDDRUSSEL Huh? Aw, man, I thought you was Otto! TUDDRUSSEL tosses the washing machine aside. TUDDRUSSEL We're playing super-extreme spy tag! LARRY gets up from the ground. LARRY And I'm super-extreme at my wit's end! If you two insist on treating this place like a pigsty, you're going to have to clean up after yourselves! TUDDRUSSEL Well gee, I would, Larry, but I'm kinda busy. The cabinet next to TUDDRUSSEL creaks open. OTTO jumps forward, a carton of eggs in his hand. OTTO Hah! He raises an egg above his head, ready to throw it. TUDDRUSSEL Huh? TUDDRUSSEL screams and ducks as he avoids a barrage of eggs. LARRY Hmm? The eggs that BUCK avoided hit LARRY square on the face. TUDDRUSSEL You're toast, little man! OTTO laughs as he throws an egg on TUDDRUSSEL'S face, jumps down from the cupboards, and runs away. TUDDRUSSEL Augh! I'm hit! TUDDRUSSEL barrels past LARRY in pursuit of OTTO, knocking him over. TUDDRUSSEL Come here, you! LARRY lifts himself up slowly and sighs. INT. KITCHEN - LATER LARRY scrubs away at the red bullseye with a soapy brush. He stops when he notices his left arm sparking and crackling. Suddenly, it falls off, brush still in hand. LARRY Oh, great. There goes another servo. INT. UTILITY CLOSET LARRY opens the door and turns on the lights to the utility closet. Inside is a large assortment of spare robotic parts. He sighs as he walks up to a box of limbs. LARRY chooses an arm and screws it on. LARRY Dishes, laundry, vaccuming... He tests out the arm by moving his fingers. He grabs a spare head and holds it theatrically as if he were Hamlet. LARRY Alas, 'tis a robot's burden. Superior creatures such as ourselves, forced to serve a lower species. LARRY pauses and looks at the head in his hand. Contemplatively, he grabs a spare arm and examines it as well. LARRY This gives me an idea. INT. LARRY'S ROOM TUDDRUSSEL tiptoes around, holding a lamp. TUDDRUSSEL Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. He stops and looks under a chair, ready to attack with his lamp. Behind him, OTTO pops up from behind another chair. OTTO Eat foam, punk! OTTO sprays two cans of shaving cream at TUDDRUSSEL. It blocks his vision when it hits his goggles. TUDDRUSSEL Now I've got you, you little- TUDDRUSSEL blindly hits around in front of him and crushes a lamp. OTTO looks on, cringing, as we hear LARRY's piano get smashed and see his television get wrecked. TUDDRUSSEL stops and gasps for air. He wipes his face, removing the shaving cream, and sees the state of LARRY's room. TUDDRUSSEL Whoops... OTTO Man, I don't know how Larry's gonna clean this up. The two look at each other for a moment. OTTO smiles mischieviously and sprays BUCK with more shaving cream, who screams and chases him again. INT. KITCHEN LARRY screws on the head of a DUPLICATE LARRY, who is deactivated and sitting in a chair. LARRY There! And with the simple press of a button... LARRY presses a chest button on the DUPLICATE LARRY. With a ding, the DUPLICATE LARRY activates. LARRY Happy birthday! The DUPLICATE LARRY gasps with excitement. DUPLICATE LARRY It's my birthday? What did you get me? LARRY A list of chores. LARRY holds out the list, which unfolds to reveal its length. Disappointed, the DUPLICATE LARRY takes it. LARRY I'll be relaxing. He puts on a beret and grabs a canvas. LARRY Toodles! LARRY leaves. The DUPLICATE LARRY turns and sees the state of the kitchen and frowns. INT. KITCHEN - LATER The previously-destroyed kitchen sparkles. The DUPLICATE LARRY smiles, holding a mop, as he looks over his handiwork. DUPLICATE LARRY Ah, the satisfaction of a job well done. TUDDRUSSEL runs into the kitchen with OTTO following. TUDDRUSSEL Ten minutes' ceasefire! Snack break! TUDDRUSSEL rummages through the refrigerator, tossing out various foods as he searches. TUDDRUSSEL Oh man, breaking stuff sure works up a appetite! TUDDRUSSEL finds a pie and uses his hand to eat from the tin. OTTO Hey, give me some! OTTO holds out his arms. TUDDRUSSEL Catch! A piece of pie hits the wall next to OTTO's head. He watches it slide down and hit the floor. Then, he grabs it and begins to eat it. TUDDRUSSEL continues to eat, arms full of food. He tosses aside a package and grabs a can from the fridge. TUDDRUSSEL Oh boy! Spray cheese in a can! He shakes the can and sprays it directly into his mouth. TUDDRUSSEL Okay, ceasefire's over on three. TUDDRUSSEL/OTTO One-two-three! OTTO throws his piece of pie at TUDDRUSSEL'S face. TUDDRUSSEL responds by spraying cheese at him, but misses when OTTO uses the closet door as a shield. A mop, broom, and bucket fall out as OTTO runs away. TUDDRUSSEL Cheater! TUDDRUSSEL drops the food in his arms, letting it splat onto the ground. He grabs a stack of plates from the cupboards and throws them at OTTO, then chases after him. The cupboard gets off kilter, causing the remaining plates inside to fall out and shatter. The DUPLICATE LARRY frowns as he sees the mess in front of him. DUPLICATE LARRY This is my life. INT. DOMISPHERE - DAY LARRY stands atop a cliff and paints on his easel, humming the Minuetto by Luigi Boccherini. He stops when he hears the DUPLICATE LARRY humming the same tune. LARRY Huh? LARRY turns and sees the DUPLICATE LARRY right behind him, painting on his own easel. The DUPLICATE LARRY smiles and waves. DUPLICATE LARRY Hi! LARRY What are you doing here? What about the chores? DUPLICATE LARRY All taken care of! LARRY What? DUPLICATE LARRY I built another Larry. Great software thinks alike, hmm? LARRY I didn't say you could do that! DUPLICATE LARRY Love your painting. Exquisite brushwork. LARRY You think? DUPLICATE LARRY Sublime. LARRY Well, I... I guess there's no harm. As long the chores get done. Both LARRYS go back to painting and humming. INT. HALLWAY TUDDRUSSEL and OTTO walk down the hall together. TUDDRUSSEL So, Otto, tell me. What's it like gettin' your butt kicked Tuddrussel style? OTTO What? I kicked your butt! TUDDRUSSEL You're crazy, man! I totally creamed you with that bookcase! He sees a LARRY walk down the hall and waves. TUDDRUSSEL Hey, Larr. OTTO scoffs. OTTO Didn't even feel it. TUDDRUSSEL Liar. A LARRY runs down the hall carrying a kite. OTTO Hi, Larry! He turns back to BUCK. OTTO You're a liar! A LARRY tiptoes past them en pointe, wearing a tutu. TUDDRUSSEL Howdy, Larr. OTTO You were the one cryin' like a baby. TUDDRUSSEL Was not! OTTO Was so. A LARRY runs in front of them with a net and safari hat. OTTO Hey, Larry! TUDDRUSSEL Nuh-uh! He sees a LARRY in a croquet outfit and waves. TUDDRUSSEL Hey, Larr. OTTO notices that something's off and stares back at the LARRY as they stop at the entrance to the domisphere. TUDDRUSSEL pushes buttons on the keypad. OTTO Wait. Did you notice something strange about- The door to the Domisphere opens up. TUDDRUSSEL's jaw drops and OTTO stares straight inside. OTTO ...Larry? INT. DOMISPHERE Many LARRYS frolic and laugh inside the Domisphere. A pair plays badminton while a crowd watches a small orchestra of LARRYS perform the Minuetto by Luigi Boccherini on a gazebo. A couple have a picnic. One LARRY suntans while another picks flowers. One LARRY with a pinwheel runs by, one on a hanglider swoops overhead, and another rollerskates past. A FORMAL LARRY stands near OTTO and TUDDRUSSEL, holding a clipboard. FORMAL LARRY Welcome to Club Larry. TUDDRUSSEL shouts in surprise. FORMAL LARRY Tennis? Birdwatching? Croquet? TUDDRUSSEL holds his head, on the verge of a breakdown. TUDDRUSSEL This ain't happening! The LARRYS continue to play badminton, swing on a tree, fly kites, and listen to the orchestra. BADMINTON LARRY Come on! Everyone over here! SWING LARRY Whee! A RUNNING LARRY jogs by. RUNNING LARRY Oh, you can't catch me! Another LARRY laughs and pursues the RUNNING LARRY. TUDDRUSSEL Come on! Wake up, Tuddrussel! Wake up! He slaps himself across the face multiple times and punches himself. He prepares to punch himself again but stops when four LARRYS on a tandem bicycle ride in front of him. BICYCLE LARRY Coming through! OTTO How could this happen? FORMAL LARRY Well, you two wouldn't help the original Larry with chores, so he built another Larry, who built another Larry, and so on and so on and so on! TUDDRUSSEL shudders and looks around in fear. The ROLLERSKATE LARRY rolls by him. ROLLERSKATE LARRY Ooh! TUDDRUSSEL screams. His legs wobble and he falls onto the ground, dizzy and whimpering. OTTO approaches him. OTTO This is nuts! TUDDRUSSEL Ugh... I don't feel so good... TUDDRUSSEL keeps himself from vomiting. OTTO We gotta straighten this out! We gotta find Larry. All of the LARRYS turn towards OTTO and smile. LARRYS Yes? OTTO No! The real Larry! TUDDRUSSEL vomits. I''NT. STUDIO 3K'' A nightclub full of LARRYS dances. An instrumental to Donna Summers' Bad Girls plays. Two LARRYS bump hips. Another rides a mechanical bull. OTTO and TUDDRUSSEL stand at the entrance. A COWBOY LARRY holds two phasers and dances up to TUDDRUSSEL. COWBOY LARRY Aww, bang-bang! Oooh, shoot-shoot! Aww, bang-bang, oh, shoot-shoot! Ow, bang, ow, shoot, aw-bang-shoot-shoot-bang-bang-shoot-shoot- TUDDRUSSEL grabs the phasers away from the COWBOY LARRY. TUDDRUSSEL Gimme those! The COWBOY LARRY kisses his finger and touches his rear with it, making a sizzling sound. He then makes a finger gun and shoots a gesture at TUDDRUSSEL. The COWBOY LARRY then dances away. TUDDRUSSEL glares at him until the ROLLERSKATE LARRY passes by and surprises him. TUDDRUSSEL That Larry's in big trouble! INT. DOMISPHERE A group of LARRYS plays croquet. One LARRY confronts another, who holds a croquet mallet and wears a beret. LARRY What do you mean I can't play? I'm the original, and this is my game, see? LARRY grabs the mallet out of the CROQUET LARRY's hand and points to a plaque on it that reads "Property of Larry". The CROQUET LARRY snatches it back. CROQUET LARRY Sorry, end of the line. He points to a long line of LARRYS that are waiting for their turn to play. One at the end of the line waves. END-OF-LINE LARRY Woo-hoo! LARRY Ooh! Nevermind, I'll do something else! Ooh, cribbage! LARRY walks over to a group of four CRIBBAGE LARRYS sitting at a table. LARRY Mind if I join you? The CRIBBAGE LARRYS glare at him. OFFSCREEN LARRY Hey! No cuts! LARRY turns and sees that three other LARRYS are waiting in line. One points to a sign for a ticket dispenser that reads "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER". Another waves his ticket around. LARRY But these are MY things! EXT. STUDIO 3K A queue of LARRYS waits outside of Studio 3K. LARRY storms over and approaches the entrance, but a BOUNCER LARRY wearing a black coat, gold chain, and New York Yankees hat grabs his arm. BOUNCER LARRY Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you on the list? LARRY What? I live here! The BOUNCER LARRY points away. BOUNCER LARRY Beat it! LARRY, exasperated, holds his head. LARRY Oh, this is a nightmare! TUDDRUSSEL and OTTO exit the nightclub right behind him. LARRY sees this and gasps in delight. LARRY Tuddrussel! Otto! LARRY runs up to the two. LARRY It's me, Larry! Both TUDDRUSSEL and OTTO simply look at him. LARRY throws his arms up. LARRY The real Larry! TUDDRUSSEL You got ID? LARRY They're like locusts! They take over! LARRY grabs onto TUDDRUSSEL's arm and points angrily to the crowd of LARRYS. LARRY You people work for me! He turns to face TUDDRUSSEL and OTTO. LARRY You've got to help me get rid of these pests! TUDDRUSSEL smiles. TUDDRUSSEL Now you're talkin'! INT. HALLWAY Hanging over the hallway's arch is a large banner that reads "BINGO TOURNAMENT TONIGHT". Arrows point inside the hallway, and one reads "THIS WAY!". A LARRY runs to the banner. LARRY Oh! How delightful! The LARRY runs inside and over to an airlock door, which TUDDRUSSEL holds open. OTTO stands next to him and a LARRY holds a clipboard on the other side of the entrance. The walls are covered in decorations promising "fun" and "swell prizes". TUDDRUSSEL Last call for bingo! The remaining LARRYS walk inside the airlock. One pauses before entering and faces the LARRY with the clipboard. ENTERING LARRY What's the prize? LARRY Oh, you'll see. The ENTERING LARRY goes inside. A huge number of LARRYS crammed inside the airlock smile and look out at TUDDRUSSEL. TUDDRUSSEL Okay, boys! Sayonara. The LARRYS frown as TUDDRUSSEL suddenly slams the door shut. OTTO presses a large red button labeled "PURGE". EXT. TIME SQUAD SATELLITE The numerous LARRYS are shot out from the satellite into space. INT. TIME SQUAD SATELLITE The airlock door hisses as TUDDRUSSEL opens it. TUDDRUSSEL I'm glad that's over with. LARRY Good riddance! Suddenly, another LARRY walks in. LARRY 2 Uh, I was napping. What's going on? LARRY 1 Umm.... Bingo! LARRY 1 points back at the airlock. LARRY 2 Oooh! He walks over to the entrance but stops. LARRY 2 Wait a minute, that's the airlock! TUDDRUSSEL Get in there! TUDDRUSSEL shoves LARRY 2 into the airlock. LARRY 2 Wait! There's been a mistake! TUDDRUSSEL slams the door shut. LARRY 2 I'm the real Larry! The real Larry! EXT. TIME SQUAD SATELLITE LARRY 2 is thrown into space and floats away. INT. TIME SQUAD SATELLITE TUDDRUSSEL looks into the airlock chamber. TUDDRUSSEL Well, that was the last of 'em. OTTO Yeah. It's great to be back to just the real Larry! LARRY Yes... the real Larry.... LARRY touches his fingers together and chuckles menacingly, then begins to laugh. He is interrupted when TUDDRUSSEL holds out a mop and smacks him in the head. TUDDRUSSEL Now, don't you got some chores to do? LARRY takes the broom. LARRY Yes... OTTO Oh, Tuddrussel, I almost forgot. OTTO suddenly whips out a can of shaving cream, sprays TUDDRUSSEL in the face, and runs away. TUDDRUSSEL shouts and chases after him. TUDDRUSSEL You are so goin' down! LARRY starts to mop up the shaving cream and weeps. Category:Transcripts